Dumaguete Apartments For Rent
DUMAGUETE FURNISHED APARTMENTS FOR RENT
$125 per week includes free motorbike but you must book direct with us!
DUMAGUETE FURNISHED APARTMENTS FOR RENT
I’m David Williams, a 76 years old retired sea captain and 100% disable American Veteran. I own Dumaguete Furnished Apartments For Rent. I’m proud to say that I no longer lie, cheat, steal, drink alcohol, do drugs or smoke. I used to in the worst way, but my old body would not take the pain anymore and I was forced to join AA or die.
I built Dumaguete Furnished Apartments For Rent to be the safest building in the Philippines. It’s fireproof, earthquake-proof, and can withstand the worse typhoon. You will sleep here like a baby laying in its mother’s arms. And, even though Dumaguete Furnished Apartments For Rent is situated in a very safe area, we also maintain a 16-foot electrified security wall with tall iron gates, security cameras, office safe, and an armed guard walking around at night that will shoot anyone who tries to break in. No joke! Even an insane person would not try to enter Dumaguete Furnished Apartments For Rent and I love knowing it!
At Dumaguete Furnished Apartments For Rent we are very selective and only rent to those looking for a safe relaxing place to stay where drunks will not trouble them or their wives and girlfriends. By the way, as a former drunk, I can spot active drunks with my eyes closed. I love this place!
YOU’LL LOVE IT HERE TOO
The best way to learn more about Dumaguete Furnished Apartments For Rent is email your phone number and I’ll call you. I tell you what to expect here and you tell what you expect. You can also send an email to me (David) at firstname.lastname@example.org or call “dw-williams” on skype. You can also leave your phone number in an email and I will call you. Nothing beats a nice talk!
My wife Marisa, is the nicest person in the world. Everyone loves her. She could even get along with the devil on his worst day! You can call her on SKYPE at “dsamarisa.” Her local cell is 0927-320-2111 or landline at “035-421-1343.”
OUR WATCH DOG
Princess will bark at you at first, but if you give her a little belly rub, she will be your friend for life.
Our president is like Trump, he talks too much. We just let it role in one ear and out the other. Regardless, we stand behind him 100%. We have lived in the Philippines for 20 years and feel 1000 times safer here than anywhere else in the World. And we agree that drug dealers should be sent to hell quickly. We are also best friends with the local police. They are here in less than 3 minutes if we need them. By the way, you are far more likely to meet a terrorist in the United States, France, Germany, and England than you are here!
DUMAGUETE FURNISHED APARTMENTS FOR RENT OFFERS
Free ultra high-speed Internet with Wi-Fi modems in each room. Many of our tenants, including myself, day trade stocks at night and others work on the Internet. Fast reliable connections are a must. We have static IPs and 10 Mbs data download with 5 different modems supplying data and you also have your own personal Wi-Fi. We also offer large flat-screen cable TV, large bathrooms with hot showers, fans, air conditioning, and each of our units are fully furnished with linens, cookware, towels, microwave, large new refrigerators, and everything you need to live comfortably. And, there is no lease to sign! Our deal is secured by a good faith handshake.
MOST BEAUTIFUL POOL IN TOWN
TRY US FOR A WEEK!
Let Dumaguete Apartments For Rent serve as your local landing pad. Stay one week for $125 US dollars and we will throw in a FREE LATE-MODEL HONDA MOTORBIKE ($50 value) if you know how to drive it. If not, we will give you lessons but it takes about a week to learn to be safe. Our daily rate converts to 1,100 pesos per day including the free motorbike that rents downtown for 350 pesos per day. In other words, the apartment is only 750 pesos per day! This beats any hotel deal in town when you considered the big beautiful pool, the free super fast Internet, the fully furnished apartment and all the extras. We also offer a less expensive apartment on the 3rd floor for only $100 per week with the same free motorbike deal. By the way, don’t worry if our price is too much for you. There are lots of flop houses and bamboo huts with rats and cock roaches and no security. You can rent these places for $50 week but be sure to carry some kind of weapon. Best advice is never rent a cheap place for more than a day or two without boots on the ground!
IF YOU WANT TO MEET A YOUNG LADY
Because Dumaguete Apartments For Rent are so clean and beautiful, the really nice girls are always impressed. The whores will follow you anywhere, but Filipino ladies, the kind you really want to meet, will not date a cheapo bum living in a rat hole. Take her to a filthy crap apartment and you loose her for sure! We also know some nice beautiful girls hoping to meet a nice sober man so finding a companion will not be a problem. We can also give you tips on how and where to meet young women; the things you should do and things you should not due. But we do not run a dating service or a house of prostitution. Any woman that comes here gets treated with great respect.
Operating our apartment for 10 years and being friends with many of the girlfriends of our tenants has taught us a lot about what Filipino women want from their husbands and male companions.
NO LEASE AND FREE TO MOVE OUT
Use our apartment as a landing pad. Spend your first week motorbiking around on your free motorbike while looking for a house or the perfect long-term apartment or even a cheap hotel if that’s what you really want. But even if you want a cheap place, you need to SEE IT BEFORE YOU COMMIT! Lots of places sound fantastic on the Internet but are horrible hellholes with rats and cockroaches everywhere. Boots on the ground is the only way to find a suitable place! We are happy to be just a landing pad. Truth be told, many tenants have stayed a week and then went somewhere and turned around and came right back the next week. We feel complimented.
WE WILL REFUND YOUR MONEY!
Don’t forget, if what you see on the day of you arrive does not make you smile, just say you are not happy with our surroundings and we will gladly refund your deposit and take you anywhere you want to go in Dumaguete for free. But don’t think I’m crazy for making this offer. We are so proud of what we have created that we just don’t want unhappy tenants. Besides, we’ve never had a new tenant that was not happy the minute they came through the gate. All out new arrivals tell us that our place looks better in person than it does in the pictures. And the surroundings are so clean, it just blows everyone’s mind.
Don’t forget, the cardinal rule in the Philippines is never rent for more than a week without boots on the ground!
For more information, send an email to (dwms07-at-gmail.com) or call our US Skype (1-336-645-3360) from 9 PM to 9 AM, Eastern Standard Time, Monday through Friday. Or, send us your phone number and we will call you!
From the Philippines, call or text Marisa at 0927-320-2111. Our Philippines landline is 63-35-421-1343. No pets or children under 16 years of age. Two adults maximum per unit.
WE LIVE ON THE PREMISES
Tenants at Dumaguete Furnished Apartments For Rent become our best friends. If you get sick and need to go to a hospital or to a doctor, lose your keys, run out of cooking gas, get stuck downtown, have an accident, blow a fuse, something breaks, or whatever happens… all you need to do is let us know. Just tap on our window or call us and we will help you. We’ve been in Dumaguete 20 years and know the best hospitals, doctors, and lawyers. We also have a full-time maintenance person on duty 6 days per week!
WE DO NOT LIKE DRUNKS AND LOUD MOUTH JACKASSES
Lots of retired foreign men are heavy drinkers with a nasty attitude when drunk. There’s nothing wrong with a few beers or glass of wine. But walking around pissed off and creating tension for other tenants does not fit in here. We will call the police if there is any problem.
We have tossed out a lot of bar hounds over the last 10 years. This is our home and we refuse to share it with misfits. In fact, knowing your neighbors are kind, friendly, and sober is the main reason to stay here! This is also the main reason we do not offer a lease. Leases work two ways; they bind both tenant and landlord. We don’t want to be stuck with you if we are not happy and you do not want to be stuck with us if you are not happy. The last thing we want is to hold an unhappy tenant to a contract. One pissed off jackass can destroy the ambiance for everyone. The message in this paragraph is don’t come here if you are a jackass because we will throw you out in heartbeat!
Nor can you smoke inside or near the main building. We do have two areas where you can smoke and get online. But no cigars or pipes!
Dumaguete Furnished Apartments For Rent is located 10 minutes due west of downtown in Barangay Candau-ay, up the big mountain on the road that goes to the geothermal electric power plant (map and directions). Silliman University Hospital is 5 minutes away. The airport is a 10-minute trip. The shopping mall and beaches are nearby.
free airport pickup and drop off
full laundry service
clean purified drinking water
motorized tricycle for rent hourly
cooking gas refills
free large gas grill
free charcoal grills
new 4-door pickup for rent
THINGS TO DO
Dumaguete Studio Apartments For Rent has three gyms nearby and lots of places to walk or jog. Many trails go up the mountain–the best workout you can get!
Small buses, pedicabs, and tricycles to and from downtown zip by our gate every 5 minutes. The trip to town is 10 pesos and takes six minutes.
The terminal serving Dumaguete Furnished Apartments For Rent is in front of building #2 at the farmer’s market in downtown Dumaguete. Ask for the terminal to Candau-ay. It’s easy to catch public transportation to and from the farmer’s market, where you can buy fresh meat and vegetables. Or, just ride your free motorbike anywhere you want to go.